I'm feeling the most alone I've felt in a good 15 years. On top of this I've been feeling a lot of anxiety for my friends, and relatives. Also come to think of it, there's a nice scab opening up as I watch wrestling tonight. They're doing the show in Nassau Coliseum, where I went to see The Great American Bash two years ago with an ex friend who later abandoned me for no apparent reason which kind of put me in a screwy emotional tailspin for six months before contacting me out of the blue, meeting up for a meal, and coffee, then abandoning me again this time permanently.
I don't know what is bringing this on (Well aside from the venue for tonight's RAW).
I spent this past Saturday night after work going out for my Brother's birthday, then bowling, where I did try to mingle a little bit. Sunday was Halloween, and my niece's 4th birthday. Again I made it through by trying to be pleasant with people. Also went to my Brother's house afterwards to help him give out candy.
But through it all, and even all day today, I've felt so very desperately alone. Sure the rational side of my brain will say "Hey that's not true" before rambling off a list of people who do care. But my fucked up side is at odds. It's guaran "Damn" teeing (As they say in wrestling programs seeing how it's Monday) No one gets it. Perhaps nobody wants to. And I'm sure most people are tired of hearing me whine about it.
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